


On your knees

by sekhmetpaws



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley is a nun, F/F, Face-Sitting, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel is very dumb, Hair-pulling, Heresy, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Wives (Good Omens), Light BDSM, Nuns, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Riding Crops, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Vaginal Fingering, aziraphale is a nun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-01-03 22:16:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21186863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekhmetpaws/pseuds/sekhmetpaws
Summary: A. J. Crowley is sent to infiltrate a convent and tempt some nuns on what she does best: ask questions.Aziraphale is supervising a promising group of novices and can’t allow the demon to ruin everything with her diabolic games.In the end, both can report a half-win.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> It's not heresy if neither is a real nun (or a real person), is it?

Aziraphale couldn't believe in what her eyes were seeing.

For the past ten years, everything was going as well as it could be.

She had joined a religious order as a nun and couldn't be more satisfied with her work. She had gained full access to the library and the opportunity to organize the place in her ways and analyze the sacred texts with her own hands. Locals would come and go, seeking forgiveness for their sins and leaving lighter with Her grace, gradually, transforming the small town in a point of divine light and peace. The convent itself flowed with happiness and harmony, attracting new nuns often. Nowadays, she was looking over a promising group of novices with shining innocent eyes and, in two or three years, she was hoping to take over as mother superior.

However, one day, everything changed.

It was a beautiful evening, with the sun beginning to sink into the horizon. She was waiting for the arrival of a new girl. Her original order had been destroyed or something like that. Oddly, Aziraphale couldn’t remember the whole story very well, as it have been suggested to her brain in broken parts. It’s okay. New Sisters were always welcome and she would receive her with a smile and had instructed the younger ones to do the same.

They were waiting in the gardens like a small welcome entourage, while Aziraphale confirmed that instructions on future accommodations had been followed inside. The roar of an engine caught her attention and she looked through the window (which she could barely reach) and saw a black Bentley park at the convent doors.

“Heavens, no!”

She walked fast, footsteps echoing across the wooden floor, toward the gates. “It’s just a car “Aziraphale”, she repeated to herself, “a lot of people can have the same type of car...”.She walked through the doors and part of the group turned their heads to look at her. She saw with horror bright eyes and whispers too low to be caught in the air. It was not like she did depreciate human curiosity. She found it adorable, fascinating even, with their desire to learn and capacity to change and to grow. But, unfortunately, for the humans, the curiosity usually came with negative consequences.

She heard the car’s door click as it was closed, someone gasp and then offer to carry luggage. She couldn’t see over the black and white sea of habits in front of her, but could hear the sound of footsteps echoing on the stony floor, probably produced by heels higher than they should be. And more and more whispers. And then she saw, under the red-light bath of sunset, a scene that could almost be considered poetic if it weren’t tragic, a fiery fringe escaping through the veil, too tidy not to have been on purpose and the glow of recognition in golden eyes as they bump into hers. And the damn smile.

“Good evening Sister Fell, it’s a pleasure to meet you”.

…

She smiled in despair all the way back to the convent and let the younger girls lead the tour, knowing that if, for a second, she stopped smiling, she would scream.

Crowley was clearly enjoying the whole situation, smiling and talking smoothly (even though Aziraphale could catch traces of her usual sarcasm). She even made up some stupid excuse not to set foot in the chapel and none of the novices seemed bothered by it, looking at the woman with interest and almost devotion. Oh, but when she got her hands on that damn serpent, she would...  
Aziraphale took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure.

“All right girls, it’s getting late and I’m sure Sisters Crowley is tired of the trip” And, so Sister Crowley was also sure she was tired of the trip, Aziraphale gripped her forearm tightly “So, I’m taking her to her quarters. Excuse me. And good night”.

Crowley did all she could to not react under the strength of a Heaven’s soldier crushing her arm and smiled at the novices as she was dragged away.

Later, in the protection of the room and with the door locked, away from curious eyes and ears, Aziraphale’s smile broke and she pointed her finger at the demon’s nose almost threatening. Almost.

“You need to get out. Now”.

“Nice to meet you too angel. I missed you too”

“Oh, what a lack of manners! Hello dear. But I'm afraid you really need to leave. What are you doing here anyway?”.

Crowley shrugged. “Probably just the same as you”

“I hardly think so dear”.

The demon chuckled. “Don’t worry angel. I’m not staying. Quick temptation. Six months or less.

It turns out this town stopped sending people downstairs, I suppose I already know why… ”and winked at her.“ They told me to balance things up a bit”

Aziraphale crossed her arms, not impressed. “Oh, really? What do you have to do? Corrupt the mayor?”

“Nothing special. I have to mislead those novices”

“Crowley, no!”

“They do not necessarily have to give up being nuns. I just need to plant a few doubts, encourage free will. You know, the usual”.

“I’m the responsible for those girls!”

“Ah, this is great! You can help me and then both of us are free to go faster!”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale’s face burned, offended “I’m not helping you do the job from… down there.”

“Why do you always want to do everything the hard way? “

“There is no hard or easy way. There is the RIGHT way and that’s how I’m doing it. I’m not making you leave, but if you want to stay, you'll have to follow the rules. Which means bedtime at eight and waking up at four. And you are not allowed to use this.” Aziraphale snapped her fingers, seeing the demon in front of her decrease about four inches in an outraged growl, and a pair of louboutin scarpin appeared in her hands. “Good night Crowley”.


	2. Inadequate

Of course, Aziraphale didn’t expect Crowley to follow her demand, not without pressure at least. She didn’t show up for breakfast (no surprises until here), but, the first holy mass of the day would start in a few minutes and she needed to do something, before someone noticed. Logically, Sister Crowley needed to follow the same rules as everyone else, otherwise, what would prevent the others from asking themselves why to do the same?  
Aziraphale strode to her quarters, trying to go unnoticed. She looked around, to be sure she was completely alone before knock, with more force than she should, making almost a thunder sound.  
-Crowley! You are fifteen minutes late! - she yelled, more as a habit. Deep down, she knew no noise, especially one muffled through the door and walls, could be enough to wake up a sleeping demon.  
And that was the case.  
Aziraphale invaded the room to find a cocoon of blankets snoring passively. “Crowley!” she called, slipping her hands in the blankets trying to find a support point to shake her.  
“Five more minutesss” she heard the drowsy voice coming from somewhere inside the mess of fabric.  
“Oh, Lord! Give me patience!”  
“Don’t you dare bring Her to this conversation.” A hand came out of the mess and pulled the blanket back.  
Aziraphale lost her temper, pulling hard and bringing the demon spinning to the ground. The golden serpentine eyes blinked, betrayed, but the angel knew that, if she wasn’t already half awake in the process, she would have felt nothing and would still be snoring on the floor.  
“We already missed half of the first mass and ... By heaven’s sake Crowley! Why are you dressed like this? Don’t you have respect?”  
Crowley, who had been sleeping only in red lace lingerie, smiled. “Do you like it angel? I think it makes me fit the character better. Sexy satanic nun and all. To seduce the other nuns. Do you feel seduced Sister Fell?”  
Aziraphale blushed, exasperated. “You are unbelievable, Crowley!” which made the redhead laugh.  
“I’m going to… Look. Whatever. You have exactly ten seconds to put on that habit and get out of this room.”  
“That where you make a mistake, my angel. Sister Crowley originally come from an enclosed order, she is used to pray alone and in silence, with no chants and bla bla bla… And I’m sure you would respect her decision, especially with the difficulty of facing this reality change, wouldn't you? Now, if will you excuse me…” and started to slip back into the blanket pile.  
“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works dear”.  
“Well, none of the others questioned my story.” said, pouting “I just need to sleep”.  
“You literally doesn’t need to sleep Crowley!”.  
“Please my angel! The convent itself is not sacred ground, but it’s not neutral territory either. There is a fucking crucifix on the wall above my bed, Aziraphale! It’s getting me headaches, angel, please!”  
Aziraphale rolled her eyes, nodding.  
At least she knew that the longer the demon slept, the less time she would spent working, which gave the angel an advantage in keeping the others on her side.  
…  
If Crowley wouldn’t even pretend to participate in the religious activities, great. But she, at the very least, had to work. That wasn't her job, but Aziraphale couldn't take any chances, so with a well-meaning little suggestion here and a little miracle there, she got access to the task board.  
Right. She didn't want Crowley anywhere near the library, not with all the work she'd had to organize (technically, to disorganize it. Crowley would be bothered by her orderly disorder and would want to straighten it up and Aziraphale just wouldn’t be capable to explain to her that eight books open at the same time wasn't a mess)it all. And also far from tasks that would leave her a long time alone with the other nuns. Otherwise, she might be bored and tempted to do her own work. And, of course, far from reception. The demon wasn't exactly friendly with strangers and might be inclined to include them in the package.  
So, Aziraphale decided to put her in charge of gardening. Yes. It would be perfect.  
It was something she liked to do, usually the same activity didn't need the help of other people and maybe even distracted her from the mission in the convent. That is it, the more distracted the better.  
Still, the angel was still a little angry at the whole situation.  
“Thank you, Lucy” She smiled at one of the novices who had promised to show the new nun where all the tools were and how they worked in the convent. "I think you have a lot to learn together. Sister Crowley was just telling me how being kind to the plants and nicely encouraging them to grow better is important, isn't it right, my dear?”.  
The demon's mouth opened in outrage, but she said nothing, forcing herself to smile and nod. Aziraphale smirked and reentered the building, waving as she walked through the doors.  
…  
“Sister Fell?” It took the angel a few seconds to look up from the text she was reading. The Mother Superior had a grumpy thin mouth and rigid, constantly disapproving eyes that were now looking her way. Aziraphale wondered what she had done wrong this time.  
“Sister Crowley is.. Well, I noticed that both of you seem to have an easy connection, and I don't know how it worked where she came from, but I believe it could be seen as an inadequate posture and may lead visitors to misjudge us. Could you talk to her, please?”  
Aziraphale took a deep breath. It was too early for that shit. She could not even imagine how anyone could have an improper posture taking care of the garden. The angel barely agreed, leaving the library, heading outside the building.  
Passing next to a window her height, she could barely suppress the reflection of slapping her own forehead. Apparently 'inadequate' was the term the Mother Superior used for 'obscene'.  
Crowley was shamelessly on all fours in the middle of a flower bed. Aziraphale couldn't see what she was doing with her hands, but she was sure that neither show her ass in the air, nor the heels she could see appearing out of her habit were necessary for gardening, and that she was doing on purpose. The angel rolled her eyes.  
By the time she finally arrived in the gardens, thank to Her, Crowley had stopped that pathetic attempt. Now she was kneeling on the floor, a triangular shovel in her hand, with one of the novices kneeling beside her. The demon turned her head a little, certainly hearing the footsteps toward her. If she wasn’t wearing a veil, Aziraphale would be able to catch her little pointy ears moving in her direction. She dropped the tool, missing the floor and sinking it into the hem of her habit.  
Aziraphale saw long-clawed hands float in the air and land on the novice's thighs, higher than would be decent, and whisper something in the girl's ears, looking toward the angel, her ophidian eyes shining golden in the sunlight. The novice laughed.  
Aziraphale froze in place, her face warming in red.  
“Crowley.” She called. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”  
“Good afternoon Sister Fell. Of course.” She smiled,rising, only to sway in a rehearsed stumble, snapping her fingers in a quick, almost imperceptible gesture.  
But she wanted Aziraphale to see. As always. And miraculously, the shovel attached to the habit hem tore into a perfect slit, revealing one of her long legs and the shadow of a red lace garter on her thigh. Aziraphale clenched her hands into fists.  
...  
She cornered the demon in an empty corridor.  
“Serious, Crowley? Wow. Subtle.”  
The woman laughed. “I don't know what are you talking about my angel.”  
The other rolled her eyes one more time. Aziraphale predicted that she would be doing this frequently in the coming months. “You don't work like that. It is not so obvious. We both know that you do better than that. What are you trying to get so Crowley? Irritate me?”  
“I think you are seeing things where are none Aziraphale.” she said, smiling, reaching both hands down the sides of her smaller body.  
Aziraphale snorted, holding in the front of her habit to reverse positions and cornering her against the wall. “This is not a Crowley game! It's not funny!”  
The redhead's smile widened, she brought her face close, caressing the angel's cheek with hers, her mouth hovering millimeters away. “Are you jealousss my angel?"  
A voice came suddenly, turning the corridor. "Sister Crowley, I did what you said, and the begonias look even prettier now! Do you think...Oh.” The novice's eyes widened when she encountered the scene and her face flushed. “ E-Excuse me…”  
Aziraphale startled, releasing the collar of the demon's habit, her own face taking on the color of her hair. She had brought that to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka the one in which Crowley tries to trick her angel in doing her job and Aziraphale gets, how can I say? Played for sucker.


	3. Temperance

Aziraphale stomped out and didn't look back until she was safely hidden between the dusty library shelves. “Damn Serpent!”, the angel snorted, piling up some books -more forcefully than she should- to get them out of the way.

She was trying to introduce herself as explicitly as possible, but without taking a direct approach and piss the angel off enough to force her to look mean instead, while the demon pretended to be innocent. Crowley could very well do her own job right and quickly, but seeing someone else play that stupid role must have been a lot more fun and she was doing it on purpose.

Yes, despite being inconveniently dramatic most of the time, when it comes to work, the angel knew better than anyone that her "associate" was rather calculating and focused on turning small inconveniences into as much chaos as possible. Unless it was Aziraphale. In this case, she allowed herself to be as dramatic as possible and if, by chance, the work was done, it was a bonus. She snorted again. If Crowley thought Aziraphale was going to do her demonic services in her place, she was very wrong. 

And now, she needed to look for the girl and explain that it was all a misunderstanding, but if she rushed to explain herself, it would seem even more that she had done something wrong and aaaaaaaaaaaaah! She needed some alone time. Not that she wanted to hide… She was frustrated and out of patience to deal with human or ethereal contact now. And the library was the first place that the other nuns would look for her to talk to or to solve someone’s problems. And also the most obvious place Crowley would look for when she had just finished laughing at her first mischief of the day and got bored. She needed to get out of there.

The kitchen was a great place to hi...hm…to not be disturbed. Hardly the other nuns would go there, outside of mealtime, having other duties. And Crowley wouldn't be drawn to messing up in an empty kitchen…

Unfortunately, the angel remembered, way to late, that no one went to the kitchen during the afternoon because that wasn’t much to do. Nor was it as if Aziraphale could cook, even with the help of miracles. She seriously considered spending a miracle on something superfluous like conjuring a book... But a more tempting thought crossed her mind as she remembered a candy basket with which the convent had been presented by a grateful citizen a few days ago   
…  
Some time later the Mother Superior would find Aziraphale sitting on the stone sink, her hands lost in the third packet of cookies, purring happily.

“Sister Fell”she would say accusingly, making the angel jump off the kitchen’s stand like a surprised animal. “With our new sister in need of guidance and all the novices under your responsibility, do you hide from your job to stuff yourself with cookies?”

Aziraphale had an excuse on the tip of her tongue, but the sight of the red-haired woman standing smiling behind the Mother Superior made her bite it to suppress a curse. Diabolic gossip snake. She fumbled with apologies, never taking her eyes off the demon, who was trying hard not to laugh at her embarrassment, and left, pulling her by the hand, promising to help her immediately.  
“I must assume you don't need real guidance, right dear?”

“Nah. Annoyed. The other nuns are boring.”

“And you needed to report me to the Mother Superior Crowley? Couldn't you just look for me?”  
The redhead smiled without answering. Of course. It wouldn't be as fun.

“So...Do you guys bless wine before Mass? Because if not, we could steal some bottles and stay in my room after curfew and...”

“I don't want to steal from church, Crowley!”

“And what do you wanna do? We could...”

“I just want to do my job!”

Crowley sighed. “All right. I'm going to help you”.

“Help me? How could you help me Crowley?”

“Since you're taking this nun story seriously… I'm no one to talk, but gluttony is a sin.”

Aziraphale rolled her eyes. “Very funny, dear”.

Crowley’s face became clouded in a serious expression. “Sin is never funny Sister Fell. The devil tries in many ways to get us away from the divine plan. But do not worry. As another nun, I can hear your confession and help save your soul.”

“Crowley, I...”but the angel had no time to answer, the redhead had taken her hand and was now dragging her into the corridors near the convent entrance. “Ah. Great. You have found the confession booth.”

The demon smiled, presenting with both of her hands one of the entrances covered with a dark red curtain.

“It’s not how it works, dear. A priest need to...”

Crowley raised her hand asking for silence and her smile widened, becoming mischievous. When she stepped through the first curtain, Aziraphale couldn't help the temptation to follow her.   
…

The convent's confessional was a traditional dark wood booth. The blood red curtains hid the occupants in compartments separated by a grid, through which the penitent can see the priest, but the priest usually cannot see the penitent, as was the case here. On one side there is a bench for the penitent to kneel and on the other a chair for the priest. Aziraphale soon realized that they both had exchanged places.

“Crowley, dear...”

“Sit down, my angel. I’m fine here.”

Aziraphale stared at the grid, suspicious that she couldn't see what the demon was doing, nor read her expression, but sat down.

“So, Sister Fell, what brings you here today?”

“Crowley, you know that you...”

“Ngk. Cooperate, angel”.

Hm. Crowley wanted a little role play scene. All right then. If she was distracted here, it was because she wasn't influencing the other girls elsewhere. And if she wasn't bored anymore, she was going to let the angel work in peace. She tried to remember the right words, although it didn't make much difference. The demon wouldn't know exactly what they are either. 

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

“And what sins would you like to confess to God?”

“I committed the sin of gluttony... I tried to evade my obligations with sweets”

“And why were you trying to hide from your obligations, Sister Fell?”

“I was stressed”

“With what?”

“With another nun”

“Did she do something you didn't like?”

“She did”

“And you tried to talk to her about it?”

“I Tried. But it was no use.”

“And then what did you do?”

Aziraphale crossed her arms. She could almost HEAR the redhead’s smile through the grid...She could not believe Crowley had brought her here to take responsibility for her actions. Although that was the whole point of a confession. But this was not a real confession. And the angel knew that overall, the demon never intended to make her feel bad about herself. She must have other reasons. Probably more nasty reasons.

“I pushed her against a wall and screamed with her.” 

“And do you repent of your sins?”

“I do”.

“God is mercy. If you truly repent, promise to be penitent, and avoid further temptation, you will be forgiven. And as a way of expressing thanks for this acquittal, you need to perform a penance.”  
The angel raised an eyebrow.

“Apparently, you have some issues with self-control and… Could you sit closely, please? Thank you. So, a good start is to try to work your temperance virtue.”

Aziraphale giggled, doing what she was told. Her chubby short legs wouldn't fit right in the compartment sitting on the edge of the chair, and even with her thighs apart, both her knees brushed the grit. 

“And how can I do this, Father?”

“All you have to do is maintain restraint in the face of temptation, through silence and reflection.   
Do you think you can do it, my angel?”

“I do think so”.

“Great”

Aziraphale heard a snap of fingers and the partition disappeared .

“Crowley! What are you…?”

“Remember. Restraint . Silence. Reflection. Do you understand?”

Aziraphale shook his head slowly, looking at the woman who had appeared before her.   
She pushed the little red velvet bench forward and knelt again. At some point, she had taken off her veil and her hair fell in cascades of curls, just as they had been in the beginning, the same color of her lipstick. A sharp-toothed smile greeted her.

Before she knew it, the demon's hands disappeared under her habit, pulling the fabric up until it was bunched under her breasts. The angel gasped as the breeze met her skin in a cold kiss as the redhead tug off her panties. But it was soon replaced by a warm breath that made Aziraphale instinctively crush the redhead's face between her thighs. The demon's laughter reverberated through her legs.  
Long-fingered hands and black-painted nails parted and squeezed her thighs. The angel pressed her lips together as kisses and light bites climbed her skin. Crowley ran her fingertips through her legs, up her shin to her… Oh. Aziraphale's eyes widened as the redhead touched her clit. She gasped. 

Crowley's smile widened slightly as she circled her fingers in an almost ghostly touch. She rose up, resting her free hand on the angel's thighs, keeping the other's movements. Her fingers closed on Aziraphale's face, squeezing lightly. 

“I'm sorry if I upset you earlier today, my angel.” The demon said, staring at her with unblinking eyes, applying a little more pressure to the massage. When she pressed their lips together in a kiss, the angel moaned against her mouth. “But I’m been serious. Stay quiet.”

Aziraphale shook her head vehemently, making the demon laugh and rest her knees on the red velvet of the stool. The angel held her breath - which theoretically she didn't need to have but couldn't control now - as the redhead's face sank between her legs.

Oh, she might hate Crowley's demonic work, especially when she got involved because of the agreement, but the apologies always made it worthwhile. After all, she could do some pretty weird - read as wonderful - things with her tongue. And the angel almost, almost, could say she wasn’t mad anymore. That is, until Crowley threw one of her legs over her shoulder and an inhuman tongue slipped into her.From then on, she couldn't think of saying anything else. In fact, she couldn’t even dare to think of anything but focus on keeping silent 

The demon's tongue was longer than a normal human's would be, and she could control it completely to her desire, including each forked tip individually and at the same time, stimulating her clit in opposite movements and simultaneously curling two fingers inside her. Aziraphale stifled a moan, biting the side of her hand.

Aziraphale threw back her head, tangling the other's red hair into her hand, and used the force as an anchor to settle in reality and not get carried away by the situation. It was so much harder when Crowley liked this kind of thing so much, the muffled moan that escaped from the back of her throat rising in vibrations through the angel's lower belly. Aziraphale smiled. In fact, of both, Crowley was the scandalous one. The angel looked down, meeting golden eyes that were both languid and devout. She couldn't let the demon started. 

Holding her tightly by her hair, she pushed the redhead's face against her, making the demon moan again, but apparently get the message. In the next second, she was intensifying her tongue movements and penetrating a third finger, her face dripping with saliva and Aziraphale's pleasure.

Oh the other hand, Aziraphale was again finding it increasingly difficult to focus. Temperance. She thought. One last desperate attempt to stay in control as the demon's fingers worked insistently at the same delicious spot inside her and her mouth drove her crazy at outside. How could she come so far and so close to this virtue?

This was a subject for later, for couch drunk talk and not-stolen church wine. For now, she could feel the heat rising in her lower belly and her eyes watering. She pushed the demon's head down. She liked to finish with her tongue inside her, which seemed to reach deeper and stimulate everything at the same time. Which the angel did, with one last moan that she couldn't contain.   
…  
Crowley abandoned her angel’s thigh-pillows so she could fix her habit. The demon didn’t know where her panties were. Aziraphale could never be sure if she had done it on purpose or not, because the redhead usually didn't pay attention to where the things she made disappear with demonic miracles were going and so the angel used to undress manually on their meetings. She just hoped the garment wouldn't show up somewhere compromising in the convent…

“Do you think anyone heard?”

“Nah. I just going to… fix this.” said the redhead, stepping back and reappearing with the partition.  
They both came out through their respective curtains. Aziraphale's legs still didn't feel ready enough to support her again, but she smiled contentedly. The sound of footsteps caught her attention as one of the novices appeared. 

“Sister Fell, are you feeling indisposed?” Crowley ignored the girl's entrance, heading in the opposite direction as she arrived. “Why didn't you attend mass?”

“Crowley?” Aziraphale called, but the woman kept walking, faster, almost running.   
The angel frowned, looking toward the girl, who was red as a tomato. “What is wrong dear?”

“ I… Hmm… I did not intend to disturb… Excuse me.” She said, stumbling over the words and left.  
Aziraphale watched her go, confused. It wasn't as if her clothes were out of place and she had arrived after they had left the confession booth. Talking to another nun was no big deal and ... Oh. 

She saw her face reflected on the clean surface of a window. 

Her lips were a completely mess of red lipstick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next day, the people of the small town were very surprised to find that their founder's statue in the middle of the central square was wearing panties.  
.  
.  
Ok, this was my very first (explicit) yuri. I don't know where to hide my face now.  
I'm not sure if i'm going to add more chapters or just let aziraphale have her revenge (a very nice one) and end this.  
I want this to finish this way, but, if you want to suggest more ways in which Crowley could make a mess out of it before it ends, i'm listening.


	4. Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When trouble comes, the snake looks for a warm place to hide

It would be another two whole days for Aziraphale to found her alone again. 

Two whole days in which, when she couldn't hide in the library and was forced to live in society, she would feel glances behind her back and catch whisper trails in the air. At least that feeling didn’t come from the Mother Superior's disapproving eyes. Well, in a certain way, they did. But the woman was only reproachful all the time, and nothing in her behavior seemed to indicate that any rumor had come to her notice.

To her little novices, on the other hand, the words seemed to have spread like smoke. There wasn't a girl who hadn't started treating her differently, either with a look of distrust, blushing as she approached or lowering her eyes as they addressed her. However, they were not the ones that worried her. Were the curious ones, with the bright eyes who seemed to stare at her with fascination, biting their lips to talk to her and censoring the repressive tone of the whispers of the others.

Crowley, on the other hand, did not seem to have been very negatively affected by the change of environment. Quite the opposite, actually. More than once Aziraphale had seen part of the girls gather at her feet in the gardens, weaving flower crowns like a little giggling flock of sheep, drinking her words and bewitched by her gestures. She had even seen the demon pass under the table at breakfast this morning lipstick - probably the red one, which she apparently decided was her signature as “satanic nun” -to one of the girls, who laughed, making Aziraphale angrily chew her muffins, not out of jealousy, of course, but because her opponent was taking another small step into her territory and she couldn't stop it. 

On the third day, the angel eagerly waited for a breach to strike back. 

Her wait was rewarded when she saw through the library window the demon alone in the gardens. She almost jumped out of the chair, kicking the table unintentionally in her haste to leave the convent. 

“Sister Fell” she barely noticed the Mother Superior appearing behind her “Where are you going? Are you busy?” 

“Hm? No, no. I was just going to… hm….to get a cup of tea?”

“Oh, how wonderful! Listen, a traveling priest will come to our town today and we offered him the convent for the night, I think he will celebrate the last mass as well. Since you're not too busy, could you please arrange everything?”

Aziraphale looked over her shoulder nervously, making sure her target was still in sight, not paying much attention to the woman's words, but nodded.  
“Ah, yes. Sure. I'll do it right away ... Er, excuse me. “

And she went out into the gardens, ignoring Mother Superior's last comment (whatever it was).In her own defense, she used a series of small miracles along the way to settle the situation, which theoretically would not be necessary, but since they were used to buy time to thwart hell's evil plans, they were completely forgivable (probably).

She found the redhead where she had seen her through the windows, kneeling on the grass (this time like a normal person), watering some flowers with a blue elephant-shaped watering can and looking rather dissatisfied, probably because she couldn't inspire the “fear of Crowley” on those plants and knew that they weren't trying hard enough. 

“Why can't you all blossom at the same time? While some are at their peak the rest of the other pathetic ones are already dying! It's horrible!” The angel heard her whisper-shout to the plants, which, offensively, did not even tremble. 

“Crowley!” She called, stopping a few steps behind the woman.

“Good Afternoon, my angel. How are you doing?” She smiled, fangs pointing out.   
She patted the grass, indicating that Aziraphale should sit next to her. 

“You are very aware dear”.

Crowley rolled her eyes “Is it about the other day? It was not my intention, okay?”

“Oh sure, and I should believe that, right?”

“Don't be dramatic Zira, it's no big deal. It's not as if it's surprising really.”

Aziraphale opened her mouth in outrage. A. J. Crowley, THE Drama Queen, calling her dramatic? “  
They all can't talk about anything else! And they stare at me, whispering to each other and…”

Crowley shrugged “Nah. Normal. All nuns are lesbians”.

“This is not...Argh! Even if some are, they can't keep thinking about it! Being a nun is precisely about choosing not to…”

“Hey! They can’t DO it, but no one can tell you what to think or not to think. And with you walking around like this it gets much harder…”

“What do you mean with ‘like this’?!”

“With this sexy nun costume”

“Oh, dear! This is not a costume. And, no doubt, it's not ‘sexy’. I think it's the most covered clothing I've ever worn since…” 

“Everything you wear is a sexy costume, my angel” she said, laying her head on Aziraphale's lap, taking the opportunity to squeeze the sides of her thighs.

“Oh, you're really impossible Crowley! What if someone is looking? I will not let you…”

But Crowley was already up, startled. Aziraphale watched, scared, as her irises expanded, painting her eyes completely in golden yellow, just like when she was nervous and had difficulty in fully controlling her human form.

“Dear girl, is everything all right?” She got up, worried “What is going on?”

In front of her, the demon became a small black snake that slid under her habit, curling around her leg.   
“Aziraphale” a huge hand grabbed her shoulder and she started again, turning to face the potential enemy. “It’s me. Awesome human disguise, isn’t it?”

Behind her, the Archangel was standing, wearing a black cassock and a heavy silver cross around his neck. 

“Oh, Gabriel! Hm… Hello? What are you doing here?Not that you shouldn't be here haha… it's a very simple job, it doesn't need the intervention of an archangel and…

“Aziraphale” he interrupted, his grave eyes gleaming in lilac. The angel stopped talking. “I am not here to complain about your work. We are very pleased with your result, it is admirable. In fact, since everything seems well underway, we would end your duties here, if it were not for a small problem…” 

“Problem? What problem? There is no problem, everything is all right...” she said,laughing nervously. Her eyes widened and her body tensed as she felt the scales of the snake she had momentarily forgotten that she was hiding scrape her thigh.

“Ah, yes. It’s everything perfect. It seems that the whole city is behaving in order enough to stop even sending people downstairs, and we're still not sure about the information, but, of course, they're not happy about it and probably sent someone, or will.”

“Sent someone?”

“Yes. A demon. Most likely a powerful one. They would not send a minor entity to infiltrate a convent, not when it is being guarded by a soldier. Tell me, did you notice something weird? Something evil?”

The only weird thing Aziraphale notice was the little reptile tongue of the creature climbing her back meeting her skin. She shifted uncomfortably “Hm… Odd? No. I don’t think so. Nothing evil either.”

“Did you knew I would be here today?”

“Mother Superior told me earlier that a traveling priest would spend the night here. I suppose it's you?”

“And no one noticed anything odd about the information?”

“Not that I know.”

The archangel linked his fingers thoughtfully and shook his head in agreement. “Well, we think this is what may have happened. A demon disguised as a nun to undo your work, the others wouldn’t notice the deployment of the information. And, of course, we're not blaming you for not noticing either. These human bodies are very similar after all, and… “

“Right. Don’t worry, if there is a demon here, I will find it and get rid of it, and…!”her pleadings were interrupted to suppress an involuntary shriek, for the demon had resolved to crawl between her breasts.

“Two angels work faster than one. And, besides, it’s safer in case it is a superior demon. We will find it and we will destroy it today.”  
“Destr…? Er...Today?” Aziraphale asked, worriedly, but, at the same time ,more comfortable, since apparently, the redhead had decided to stop running through her body and use her bra as a pillow. “But...But the Mother Superior said you are going to pray the last mass today. I'm sure, as you will be busy, I can solve it by mys...”

“Aziraphale, you are a genius!” the archangel exclaimed, clasping his hands in a grip uncomfortably   
firmer than it should have been.

“Hm? Am I?”

“What a great idea. A demon cannot step on holy ground. A mass would be the perfect occasion to know which one is the invader. And then everything is settled and we can send you to another function without losing the advance here. Great job Aziraphale. You can continue what you were doing. I'll take a look at the place.”

“But… Gabriel?” The archangel was no longer listening, moving toward the convent. “How great. Are you happy now, dear?”

Her bra answered in an annoyed hiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every chapter I say to myself "Okay, two more chapters". I hope this time i'm right.


	5. Sacred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka: the one in which Aziraphale tries to make her little baby snek feel better

Aziraphale pulled a cranky snake out of her clothes.

She glanced back to make sure her own bedroom door was actually closed. 

“How great, dear. What now? What are you going to do?”

The serpent on her pillow curled herself, increasing in size until the demon sat before her, swinging her legs on the side of the bed.

“I think I should leave now. I believe I have caused enough chaos, no offense my angel, and my side will not be so dissatisfied to know that I had to leave because of the intervention of an archangel.”

“You can’t just leave! He has already made a recognition of the place, knows how many nuns are here and already suspects that the "invader" is a newcomer, which is already true and well ...He will notice. You can even change the memories of others, but not his. And when he realizes you are gone he will go after you... I can't let that happen.”  
“And what does you suggest, angel?”

“Hm… You haven't done anything concrete that specifically betrays you… Maybe you can pretend to be human and…”

Crowley pointed to her own eyes and blinked. Since it hardly ever happened, it was always kind of weird when she did it on purpose. Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably.  
“Ok… There is that. Why didn't you bring your glasses anyway? And how has no one found this strange so far? Not that it's weird, dear, but by human standards…”

Crowley shrugged. “Humans tend to ignore everything that seems obviously supernatural angel, otherwise they would be freaking out all the time. A nun in sunglasses would be much easier to repair, as nuns don't usually wear sunglasses and all.”

“Well, in that case, maybe if you looked more obviously human, that would divert his attention.” 

she said, snapping her fingers and making a pair of round glasses pop out of the nightstand drawer into her open hand. 

“What is thiss?”

“Glasses”

The redhead rolled her eyes. “ I know these are glasses, but why do you have it? Angels do not need glasses.”

“Exactly! So, theoretically, demons wouldn't need either”

which was not exactly true for both cases, but Aziraphale had enough confidence in the archangel's idea of sublimity above both demons and humans to assume that he wouldn’t bother to think about it. 

Crowley tried the pair suspiciously, narrowing her eyes. “I won’t see shit with this.”

“Oh dear, It's not like you see very well the rest of the time” Aziraphale chuckled, being careful to skip the swearing. The redhead snorted. Snake eyes. Despite easy night vision, as most demons have, let's say that, while Crowley generally refuses to admit otherwise, her sunglasses were not merely aesthetic. “Ok, problem number two. How will you get into the chapel?”

“What would keep me from entering the chapel?”

“The sacred floor?”

“It doesn't stop me from getting in there. It just burns. It's not like it's going to kill me.”

“Oh, yes. And Gabriel surely won’t notice you bouncing around...”

“Oh, my angel, I've been tiptoeing around all this time...” the demon grinned with sharp teeth, drumming the wooden floor with the heels of her shoes “What is one more hour? And you still wanted to take my babies away from me… Tsk tsk. Do you doubt me?”

“I just think that...”

A knock on the door interrupted her. 

“Sister Fell?”

The redhead whispered “Well, I guess that is just one way to find out...”

…

In the end, Aziraphale was so worried about both her friend's pain and the possibility of being caught that was late to realize that she was right and the archangel had no idea what he was doing and couldn't care less, because humans were too simple to tell the difference. 

She looked, agonized, but impressed, as her friend sauntered across the marble floor, her round glasses dangling from the bridge of her nose, keeping her eyes down, but not altering her expression or taking false steps. Only once, in a moment when they were all supposed to kneel on the floor, did she notice the demon's teeth clench and a small tremor run through her body. Throughout this period, the angel tightly squeezed her rosary beads, which eventually burst in her hands, throwing dozens of pebbles across the floor. However, most of the nuns seemed restless enough that it was impossible for the archangel to notice anything unusual. Aziraphale took her eyes off her friend and looked around.

“Did he say apostle Jonah?”she heard one of the nuns whisper to another.

“I think he meant Judas” the other whispered back.’’

“But he said something about a whale…”

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow and began to pay more attention to what the archangel was doing. Maybe she couldn't remember every bit correctly, but she was pretty sure that Jesus hadn't said anything about violently destroying our enemies. Later, she had the slight impression that the archangel had begun to confuse Joseph with Moses. Ok. Who was she to judge, but, perhaps, apart from the whole story about the announcement and all, Gabriel was not as aware of the process as she had expected. 

The rest of them, on the other hand, seemed to feel more comfortable judging and the narrowing of eyes and the whispering continued for the rest of the oratory, in a buzz that was confusing enough -she hoped- to cover any sign of oddness the archangel might notice.

Aziraphale allowed herself to sigh with relief as he began to walk toward her with a disappointed expression on his face.

“Got something?” Aziraphale struggled to avoid smiling, shaking her head with a serious expression. Gabriel let out a defeated sigh. “All this for nothing. They must have been discouraged by my presence and gave up. Well, let's do one last survey and if there really isn't anything suspicious, I'll leave in the morning and you stay here for a safety margin of two or three days while we submit the form to finish this project…”

A novice appeared to interrupt the archangel and his office talk to take him to his quarters. 

“I'll check things up here, verify the back rooms to see if everything is in order.” Aziraphale said, vaguely pointing to the chapel. The girl raised her eyebrows in a confused expression, but the archangel shook his head vehemently. 

Yes, sure. Do that. I will check the other side, er, of my quarters. Good night!” and blinked exaggeratedly, leaving the church and walking past the girl who understood nothing.  
Aziraphale rolled her eyes, staring at the man's back until he disappeared through the door. 

“Sister Fell? Do you need help to… check the back rooms?” one of the girls asked.

“No need, honey. Sister Crowley has already offered to go with me, isn’t it, dear? 

The novice shook her head, blushing, but the angel had no patient in her to care at the moment, watching the redhead walk to her side, looking more clearly uncomfortable now, without Gabriel's presence. They both stood in silence, waiting for the rest of the women to leave, and when that happened, more than immediately the demon leaped like a cat into the air, forcing the angel to take her in her arms.

“Holly fuck, Aziraphale! It feels like my feet are burning! And that's not even a good comparison because fire doesn't really hurt me! That was a terrible, terrible idea!” the demon shouted, feet kicking in the air as if that could somehow improve the sensation.

Aziraphale, carrying the redhead bride-style, unsure of what to do, sat on the floor with her back against the wall, careful that the demon's body was only in contact with her lap.  
“Let me see, dear” She said,carefully removing the heels of her friend, who whimpered. “It’s not that bad”.

Yes it was.

To two practically indestructible and immortal beings, the damage seemed bad enough. The sole glowed in a deep red, almost black at some points, and Aziraphale could already see the shadow of the burn blisters that would form. Even the small scales that spread across the tops of the feet and ankles seemed slightly singed, and some of them came loose as the angel ran her fingertips along them, leaving a reddish trail. 

Crowley grunted again.

“Everything is alright” said the angel, gingerly removing her veil to brush her fiery hair with her fingers. “You were great, he didn’t suspect a thing. I think he would realize a more complicated miracle now, but as soon as he leaves tomorrow, I will heal it for you.”

“But it hurts now!” Crowley pouted. 

“I know dear, my brave little serpent.”Aziraphale placed a kiss on the top of her hair. “I will help you feel better”

The angel was on her feet again, twirling the demon in her lap as if she weighed nothing. 

“Zira, what are you d…?”

Crowley's back slammed into the wall - thank God...Sat...someone it didn't burn - and the remaining space was taken up by Aziraphale's body, pressed against her. 

“Shhh...Focusing on something other than the annoyance can help.” she smiled, clutching her demon’s thighs so she crossed her legs around her waist. “Don't you want my help Crowley?”

Hell yes! If the angel was so willingly offering, that kind of help was very welcome, thank you very much. She projected her face forward, promptly meeting the angel's lips in a kiss. She wrapped her arms around Aziraphale's neck, pulling the veil on her way to reveal a wave of missed white-blond hair she clung to as the kiss became more aggressive and the angel's hands slipped under her habit. 

“In a church, angel? What a sacrilege!”

“I would fuck you in that altar right now, dear, but your butt is too pretty for me to let it burn like that.”

The demon laughed and in the next second found herself raised again, thrown over the angel's shoulder, her face facing her back and her legs raised in the air. Aziraphale walked toward the small rooms behind the chapel that served as storage and small meeting rooms. Halfway through, Crowley felt the hem of her habit been lift, only to have her panties ripped off and her exposed ass burned by a slap.

“Aziraphale!”

“It's the name you'll be moaning in a moment if you have patience, dear.”

“Zira!” She kicked the air again, making the angel chuckle. 

Aziraphale kicked the door open into the small meeting room. In the center of the room there was a rectangular wooden table where she tried to carefully deposit the demon, which was kind of difficult when she was trying to attack her with kisses again. They undressed in the human way, because every precaution regarding superfluous miracles was valid. In a second, the redhead's hands were clasping her breasts, pressing them together so she could caress her own face between them.

“I missed them”

Aziraphale chuckled, pulling her back gently.

“No, no, dear. It’s my turn. You know that”

Crowley snorted, but accepted, placing her hands behind her back.

Aziraphale smiled, curling a handful of red hair in her hand to hold the demon's head back and gain more access to her neck, where she deposited a trail of kisses. Crowley growled as a hard bite marked the skin between neck and shoulder. A path of them ran down her chest in reddish marks. Aziraphale took her time to suck on the nipple of each breast, her hands running down the sides of the demon's body and stroking the inside of her thighs. The redhead moaned softly and the angel smiled. 

She traced her upper thighs with her fingertips. Her knees weren't that bad, just a reddish pink like a sunburn. Aziraphale left a quick peck on each, then placed her legs on her shoulders. A trail of kisses ran along the interior of the redhead's thighs, lingering on either side, until both had a beautiful collection of purplish marks and the demon was shifting again under her hands.

“Zira… Pleasssse...!

She allowed herself to look up to admire her work, but the demon lying on the table hid her flushed face with her hands. Aziraphale smiled satisfied, lowering her face to round the redhead's clit with the tip of her tongue. Crowley tried to lift her hips against her, but the angel's hands circled her waist, pinning her to the table as her tongue movements intensified. The redhead let out another muffled moan. 

Aziraphale would have smiled if she wasn't so busy. She let go the demon's hips, in which reddish welts of her fingers emerged proudly, to lightly squeeze the sides of her thighs. Crowley gasped. Aziraphale watched, her eyes shining, as the redhead removed her hands from her face to hold them on the sides of the table, nails grown into claws, threatening to pierce into the wood. 

The angel decided it would be a good time to sink two fingers inside her. Crowley opened her eyes, completely tinted with gold, as she moaned, covering the high “crack” of the table succumbing under her claws.The angel began a succession of precise thrusts, feeling the demon pulse against her fingers. 

“I’m so proud of you dearest”she said, grabbing the redhead's face and forcing her to come closer “What a good demon you are”.

Crowley let out a whimpering moan as she kissed her, wrapping her arms around the angel’s neck and trying desperately not to sink her nails into her back, pulling her closer. Aziraphale had no choice but to climb the table as well and pray that she it solid enough to sustain them both. She inserted a third finger as she gave the redhead's hair a strong tug, producing a loud moan in response.

“As much as I love to hear you dear, you need to shut up now. Angels don't sleep, nor will the rest of the convent if you don't keep quiet.”

It was no use, obviously. Crowley had already been carried far enough that she could no longer do what she asked. No problem. Aziraphale stuck two fingers in her mouth, which she immediately began to suck, moans in muffled meows now. 

“Good girl”.

She felt the redhead's body spasm and allowed her to bite her fingers to restrain one last moan, until she softened beneath her. She held the demon's face in her hands, kissing her forehead as she waited for her breath to slow down.

“Do you feel better dear girl?”

“No”.

“No?”

The demon's eyes widened, as did a sharp-toothed smile. She pinned the angel with her legs, twirling them on the table until she was on top of her. 

“I think we need to try a little harder.”

It would be a long, long night.

…

The next morning she met the archangel in the breakfast. A suitcase, probably empty, was waiting for him in the lobby. He "also" had found nothing special and was quite disappointed. Aziraphale was also quite disappointed to see how much food he had served himself with and would surely throw it away, deciding to sit at another table, agreeing to meet him on his way out. 

She chatted happily with some of the other girls. The cake was great and she couldn't be more peaceful. Little did she know that, as always, something had to go wrong. 

She waited in the garden while Gabriel had just said goodbye to the Mother Superior and began to walk toward her with a happy expression. 

“Aziraphale! We were wrong. One of the novices came to talk to me this morning. And, you won't even believe it, but she thinks one of the nuns is possessed.” 

“One of the nuns is what?!”

“What a plot twist, hum? We thought they'd send someone new to infiltrate, but, of course, if they catch someone older and trustworthy no one would suspect… Looks like one of the girls even came to see her with her face covered in red. Must be some kind of vampire demon and… Are you even listening Aziraphale?”


	6. Exorcism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley gets exorcised -kinda.  
And then gets cuddles.  
Some nuns will need therapy.

“Oh, yes, of course, I’m listening. Forgive me, I was just thinking. I feel better now.” she smiled and did as much force as possible so that the muscles in her face didn't reveal how close she was to have a nervous breakdown. Think fast. Think fast. Think fast. “We have nothing to worry about.”

“We don’t?”

“Oh, no. You see, humans have become very adept at banishing demons from their physical corporations. They even produce many works on it, I own several books myself. In fact, they have a whole genre of related entertainment that they watch for fun ha ha ha...”

The archangel frowned. “Really? I did not know.”

“Ah, yes! And in this case, it is even better, since, on sacred ground, the demon will be weakened and I can destroy it immediately ...” Too much information Aziraphale. He will be suspicious. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. “You can go back to the office...”

“Actually, I believe that we don't have articles on that. It would be interesting to witness to gather more information for future situat...”

“No!” Aziraphele practically screamed, but tried to correct herself “I mean, you wouldn't want to watch it ... It's a bit unpleasant ... You know what these humans are like, producing so many ...” she whispered “corporal fluids under stress...”

The archangel contort his face in a grimace disgusted by the sudden mental image. “Well, if it's so easy ... I think I'll wait a few minutes to see if you need backup and I'm leaving.” he swallowed again, nauseated “Corporal fluids ... I don't know how you can live with these creatures, Aziraphale. You will receive a recommendation for that, for sure.”

Aziraphale smiled humbly, already starting to walk away before the archangel could change his mind.  
…

Later, the archangel would return to the bedroom wing. He had pretended that he needed to go to the city to buy supplies before the trip and the unbearable Mother Superior had stopped him to talk. Then he went back to his own rooms to pretend to see if he had forgotten anything, just to buy time to check on Aziraphale. When he passed through the door, a group of novices was waiting for him, but that was not what caught his attention. Aziraphale walked quickly behind the girls, pulling another angry woman hard by the arm. The angel winked. 

“Sister Fell?” One of the girls noticed them, calling one, but the angel had entered one of the rooms and slammed the door. The novice smiled ashamed. “Forgive me Father, Sister Fell usually organizes welcome and farewell groups, but I think she is a little busy...”

“Thou shall not fear humans. Sister Fell is just performing a simple exorcism. We don't need to refrain ourselves because of it.”He looked at their small human faces, trying to convey a more mundane image, if that was even possible for an archangel. He noticed that the novice who had come to speak to him earlier was looking at him with weird wide eyes. He approached her and whispered. “It is this woman, who just passed by, that you were talking about, right? The redhead?”

She nodded in a confused gesture. “Yes, but it’s the blonde one.”

The archangel frowned. He was almost sure that the nun, aka demon, he had seen was a redhead. Maybe he should come in to check and… He heard the loud crack of flesh being hit by something, followed by a loud groan and a more muffled and wet sound like someone was choking…?

Ok. Maybe he shouldn’t.

He thought about body fluids again and shivered.  
He tried to smile and give a calming image to the humans. If this was as ordinary as Aziraphale had said, he shouldn't have looked disgusted. The novices were looking uncomfortable. Perhaps they were beginning to suspect his presence there. 

He heard another scream. 

“Another regular day.”He said, holding up a thumbs-up and picking up his empty luggage again. “Let’s go?”

He really thought he owed Aziraphale a decoration.  
... 

“Angel, what is going on?” the demon asked, watching her friend lock the bedroom door forcefully. 

Aziraphale did not reply, gesturing to the bed as she searched for something in a heavy wooden cabinet in the corner of the room. Crowley snorted, falling on her back on the mattress. 

“Why are we here? Why is your boss still here? Why…?” Crowley stopped talking when she felt an invisible force pull her hands over his head and part her legs.

Impressed, she looked up, finding her hands tightly tied to the headboard. Her feet had probably received the same treatment. She heard a snap and turned to watch the angel hit her palm with a riding crop. 

“You ask too many questions, demon. Perhaps, if you knew the right time to keep your dirty mouth shut, your little joke could have gone undiscovered for a little longer”.

Another snap. 

The redhead raised an eyebrow, interested. 

“Unfortunately for you, your fellow nuns have snitched on you. And if you think that possessing the body of this poor girl and bringing corruption into a house of God will go unpunished, you are severely mistaken. I will banish your pathetic existence back to the pits of hell that are your place.”

Crowley chuclked, silently. Possession?   
Is that what the stupid archangel thought had happened? Okay. She could play that game. 

“I want to see you try, little angel...”

Aziraphale smirked, a frightening sight to find in an angel, especially one who was clearly at an advantage. She snapped her fingers and the demon's clothes disappeared. She pulled on her veil as she approached, revealing the white-blond hair mane. In that way, she looked like a majestic lion surrounding her prey. Crowley would have told her that, if a sudden thread of pain had not cut her leg causing her to cry out in indignation.

“Not so brave now serpent, are you?”she smiled, slightly bending the object by the edges as she surrounded the bed.

“You just surprised me, angel. Unfortunately for you, demons are quite resistant to pain, as you will soon see.” The redhead smiled back.  
“Hm… I guess I have to be sure...” The first lash hit the redhead's inner thigh. “You know how it is”. And one more. “Demons...” And another. “Are liars”.

Crowley grunted. 

“I thought you were resistant to pain, dear.” She laughed, hitting another one on the side of the redhead's belly, with a little more force. 

The demon raised her head, her face flushed . She stuck her tongue out, like a snake. “Who said it’s pain, angel?”

“Very well then”. She smiled, approaching the bed, passing one leg on either side of the demon's body, sitting on top of her. The angel’s fingers closed around the redhead's neck, pressing her back onto the mattress. “Let’s see how much you can handle.”

The next one sliced through the air, hitting the right nipple. This time the sound was louder, almost a scream, which pleased her. Something in the back of her mind noticed the powerful and oppressive presence of the archangel moving away. He was finally leaving. Great. She deserved to have some fun after all the trouble Crowley was putting her through. 

In a quick movement, she tore off her underwear and lifted her skirt. 

“Tell me, dear, do demons need to breath?”

She didn't wait for the redhead to respond with some sarcastic comment to sit on her face. 

“Is everything alright? Sister Crowley? Sister Fell?” A concerned voice came through the door and there was a small attempt to force the lock .

“Everything is great dear! Do not worry! It's just a little exorcism!” The angel replied, rolling her eyes when she noticed that the lock had been forced again. Humans have no self-preservation sense!

Crowley mumbled something, which, though incomprehensible at the time, sent delicious vibrations through the angel’s body. Still, she pinched both of the redhead's nipples to stop her from moving. Aziraphale held back a groan as the snake's tongue movements became more intense. Well, she needed to occupy her mouth with something.

“In Her name, against all evil and dark forces, I expel this cursed soul from this sacred ground...”

Crowley choked for a second. Was that damn bastard she called a friend really praying right now? 

Aziraphale felt a little bad about herself, maybe a little guilt. However, what could she do? It would be kind of weird if no exorcism prayers appeared in the archives, especially considering that her theoretically realistic reference point, if Gabriel wanted to check, was those stupid horror movies that Crowley had made her watch a few times. In any case, she couldn’t "dispossess" someone who was not possessed at all. And, the way things were going up there, there didn't seem to be anyone really looking after all …

She felt the demon's forked tongue insistently inside her ... Okay. Maybe she didn't feel that bad...In fact, the sensation of an almost liquid heat rising through her underbelly was the only thing the angel could feel now. She forgot what she was praying for.

The guttural moan that escaped the angel's throat made the redhead shiver. The only thing she wanted now was to have her hands free to squeeze Aziraphale's thick thighs. That feeling made her pull the bonds involuntarily.

“Don’t you dare!”The whip cut the air whistling, depositing another reddish welt next to the collection of others on the legs of the redhead, who whimpered. 

Aziraphale smiled, repeating the movement against pieces of skin that were still too empty, The demon under her becoming more and more restless. Feet unconsciously fighting the bonds, tremors running through the body and tongue becoming erratic. She then delivered her final blow. One last movement whizzed through the air, hitting the demon's clit, leather licking the skin like fire. The redhead's hips jumped in the air.

“What is that dear? Weren't demons resistant to pain? Or are you the one who is soft?”

She got up from the bed. The redhead lifted her head, gasping, her face red and wet.

“Go. To. Hell.” She managed to say, shivering.

“Oh, dear! But you will! Now that we have found your weak point, we can banish you from this physical plan right away.”

Aziraphale tossed the riding crop aside carelessly and sat down again.She took some time to enjoy the fruit of her work, running the reddish marks with her fingertips, before sinking her face between the redhead's legs, who purred in approval, projecting her hips forward.

She felt someone walk towards the door again, but the growl that tore the demon's throat discouraged whoever it was from knocking or trying to enter. She smiled satisfied, putting a little more pressure on her tongue. With one hand, she pinned the redhead's waist to the bed, preventing her from moving too much, squeezing one of her breasts with the free one.

“Angel.”

Aziraphale did not bother to raise her head, continuing to work. She didn't have to stop what she was doing to see an orgasm approaching. The restless movement of the demon's thighs, shaking under her hands was enough of a sign and, of course, the loud moan that followed it. 

Still, she kept on working.

“Zira!”

“What is it, dear?”

She smiled, her fingers quickly replacing the presence of her tongue against the demon's skin, maintaining the same insistent rhythm.Crowley just grunted in response. 

“You know you can ask me to stop whenever you want, don’t you?” But of course, Crowley was too stubborn to ask for such a thing. Always had been. And Aziraphale knew how to enjoy it.

For now, the angel wanted to watch her slowly lose control. 

The golden reptilian eyes were hidden by tightly closed lids. However, unlike them, snake fangs that elongated when her friend's physical shape became unstable could no longer be hidden, threatening to pierce the skin as Crowley bit her lower lip. Nails, turned into claws, scraped the wood erratically, fighting the bonds. Aziraphale wondered how much more they could take, biting hard on the redhead's neck, while driving her through yet another orgasm.

The answer was two more.

However, the bonds were not what gave in. A large piece of carved wood was yanked out of the headboard in a loud crash. The demon's hands were still joined together, however, this did not last long, while she broke the bonds, flexing her claws, which she also used to free her own feet. 

Aziraphale's expression did not change when Crowley jumped over her, hissing. In a quick movement, the angel pinned her with her legs, turning them on the bed, until she was kneeling behind the demon, pressing her face against the mattress with one hand while the other sank back between her legs.

“Are you getting tired, dear?” The demon just growled in response. Grunts that turned into whimpers. Claws deeply drilling into the mattress “You are being so good to me ... Give me just one more, okay?”

Crowley released a hoarse groan and a trail of claw marks on the mattress when the angel pulled her by the hair, pressing their bodies together. A waterfall of involuntary tears ran down her face. Aziraphale dried them off with her fingertips, placing soft kisses on the curve of the demon’s neck, movements becoming softer. 

The demon collapsed forward with a final growl.

Aziraphale stroked the top of her hair fondly. 

“Good girl. Do you feel exorcised?”  
…  
At the end of two days, Aziraphale received a letter confirming her request for a convent transfer (which she had not made). For her part, Crowley and, apparently, downstairs, did not bother to make up a fictional story. She just put on her normal clothes, grabbed her new elephant-shaped watering can and left without saying goodbye, allowing the confused and traumatized in various ways little nuns to watch her put the angel's bags in the car in her tight(er than should be) pants. 

Aziraphale was just reading aloud the feedback from her report (a complete success, archangel's words) and the request to wait for new orders when the redhead parked under a tree on a deserted road.

“A total success, hm?” said the demon, turning to take a box from the back seat, which she deposited on her lap to open. 

Aziraphale laughed and was within a second of answering, but a radio interference signal interrupted her. 

“Crowley? Are you alive?” The demon recognized the hum of the prince of hell's voice “We heard zomething about an exorcizm, but your kicked azz didn't zhow up down here...”

“Let's say it was just a minor setback… I managed to finish the job, but one of those bastard archangels showed up and I had to leave the post.” She heard an unknown voice celebrate for betting (and winning) with Hastur that she had died, Beelzebub telling the voice to shut up and an irritated Hastur obviously doubting her word.

“And what stopped an archangel from smiting you right away?” he defied. 

“Ah, I managed to manipulate another nun to pretend to be possessed. It was very funny. They must have some pretty messy paperwork to deal with now.”

Hastur grunted. Maybe Beelzebub laughed. Whatever. It is kind of difficult to distinguish with all the buzzing. Anyway, she was congratulated for the good work.

The demon smiled, just finishing to open the box and handing one of the bottles of not-stolen-from-the-church wine to the angel. The radio returned to normal and started to reproduce the Bentley’s Queen obsession as always. Crowley opened the glove box, finally being able to put her sunglasses back on.

“So ... I think we can consider that a half victory, right?” She offered a smile with sharp teeth and lifted the bottle. 

Heaven and hell drank a toast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end.  
I hope you liked, or, at least wasn't offended.   
Feedback would be appreciated. That was my first nsfw lesbian work. I don't know exactly what to think about it.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first explict yuri and i don't know where to put my face now.  
I guess it's going to have 3 more chapters (maybe more, idk)  
Guess we are going to see where we go  
It was inspired by this: https://twitter.com/vulcansketch/status/1181347700102586368?s=12


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